fiendswithbenefits:

zchr:

i just set it up and it seems to be working

if you’re at the club and someone asks for your number just give them this

thefaultinourheadcanons:

emeralddarkness:

ughjohnwatson:

do you ever get in those moods where you don’t feel like reading and you don’t feel like being on the internet and you don’t feel like watching a show and you don’t feel like sleeping and you don’t feel like existing in general

BUT YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING.

It’s in words

(Source: inactive-ughjohnwatson)

imagineyouricon:

Imagine your icon gets drunk and unleashes a secret inner talent as a super fantastic strip dancer 

(Source: flameshe)

catswithbenefits:

i dont want a job i just want paychecks

foodchewer:

if ur looking for me i’ll be in the trash

heartless:

sometimes i just get upset because im not the person i want to be and i think about my future and it clouds my head with negative thoughts about how im not going to be important

ehtan:

thomas the dank engine

foxalpha:

falstafff:

i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

as a casino employee I can confirm this would be terrifying as fuck

snorlaxatives:

why the fuck does everyone in the purge movies want to kill people if crime was legal i’d find a way to erase my student debt and also probably steal a bunch of new clothes